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Top 25 Entries Selected in Marriage Vow Contest

Readers Being Polled To Help Select The Winning Entry

More than 100 entries have been submitted since late last year to the Epidemiology Monitor contest to create the best marriage vow for epidemiologists. The contest was inspired by a humorous vow penned by the University of North Florida’s Tammie Johnson in thinking about vows she might exchange with her new husband. She came up with “I promise I will always fail to reject you” and her humor has inspired scores of readers to be creative.

In collaboration with Johnson, The Epidemiology Monitor will give a $500 prize for the best slogan submitted to the newsletter. The deadline was extended to April 30, 2014.

We received so many clever entries that we have decided to consult our readers in making the final selection of the winning slogan and two top runner ups. To help guide you, we selected the top 25 slogans received. We ask our readers to submit their votes for the best three slogans. Slogans receiving the most votes will be selected for the top and runner up prizes. The winner of the top prize will also receive a free t-shirt with the winning slogan.

Send an email with your votes for your 3 favorite slogans in order of preference to epimon@aol.com before June 15. We reserve the right to make the final selection based on the overall results.

Also, we welcome suggestions for a follow up contest.  We could ask readers to submit their favorite epidemiology related cartoon or humorous quotes. Alternatively, we might rerun a contest from years past. Readers who suggest an idea for a contest or competition that we use will receive a prize from The Epidemiology Monitor.

The link below will take you to our online voting.   In addition to voting online you may also submit your vote via email to epimon@aol.com  Below, in no particular order, are the top 25 candidate slogans for you to vote on. Vote for ONLY 3 slogans and remember to specify your favorites for the winning and 2 runner up slogans.

Top 25 Vows

1.    I vow to you that my love for you will have a 100% survival rate over a lifetime
2.    I vow to never let the posterior distribution change your prior beliefs
3.    I promise that all other relationships are spurious
4.    I vow to be reliable and valid, sensitive and specific, and unbiased and efficient
5.    I promise that you’ll always have the power to rule out all my explanations
6.    Like a citizen of Framingham, I will voluntarily consent to your study of my heart.
7.    I promise not to egregiously violate your assumption of normality.
8.    I promise our interactions will always be significant and meaningful
9.    I vow not to over control
10.  I probably do, within certain limits
11.  I vow that I'll never use you as my placebo control
12.  I promise you will always be my dependent variable
13.  I  vow that even when I don't feel normal and a little skewed, I will never be "mean" to you
14.  I vow to never adjust or modify myself just to follow the latest trend
15.  I promise that my love is like a perfect trial: 100% adherence and no lost to follow up
16.  I vow there will be no variance in my love for you ever.
17.  These vows cause us to be correlated until mortality disperses us
18.  I vow my love for you will be cumulative
19.  I promise never to be mean, and the average person could never say that
20.  I promise that you will be my perfect concordant pair
21.  I vow to never leave you with residual confounding
22.  I promise that our interactions will always be synergistic
23.  I promise to always see you as significant, but maybe I am just biased
24.  I promise that when life is variable, you can be dependent on me
25.  I promise that no matter how many times we are tested, that I will never adjust our level of significance.

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